Navy Seal Copypasta

About

Navy Seal Copypasta (also known as the “Marine Copypasta,” “Internet Tough Guy Copypasta” and “Gorrila Warfare Copypasta”) is a facetious message containing a series of ridiculous claims and grandios threats that portray the poster as an Internet tough guy stereotype. In the original post, the writer claimed to be a former Navy Seal with a long history of combat experiences, using comical typos and hyperboles like “Gorrila Warfare,” “300 Confirmed Kills” and “I can kill you in over 700 ways with just my bare hands.” Since its emergence in mid-2012, the copypasta has spawned a variety of spin-off stories, similar to the John Copypasta meme.

Origin

The copypasta is believed to have originated on the military and weapons enthusiast image board Operator Chan sometime in 2010. The earliest archived posting was submitted on November 11th, 2010 to 4chan’s /jp/^[4] (Otaku Culture) board, in which the poster claimed to have seen the message previously on Operator Chan.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

On May 24th, 2012, an anonymous user submitted a thread to the /pasta/^[1] board, claiming he had created the original copypasta two to three years prior (shown below).

Spread

On April 4th, 2012, Redditor fahottie submitted a screenshot of a YouTube comment featuring the copypasta to the /r/funny^[8] subreddit (shown below), where it received more than 20,000 up votes and 970 comments prior to being archived.

On May 22nd, YouTuber Copypasta Sings uploaded a musical version of the copypasta (shown below), which received over 87,000 views and 780 comments in the next nine months.

On August 17th, Urban Dictionary^[7] member 487j submitted an entry for the term “gorilla warfare,” defining it as training that “fake Navy Seals” receive. On November 16th, Newgrounds^[5] user JoePorter134 uploaded a dramatic reading of the copypasta. On January 10th, 2013, Redditor LiterallyKesha submitted the message to the /r/copypasta^[3] subreddit and provided links to several notable variations. In the next month, the post received over 75 up votes and 135 comments.

Richi Phelps Facebook Post

On February 13th, 2013, 10-year-old Richi Phelps posted a status update featuring a version of the copypasta adapted to Mexican slang on his Facebook profile page.

In the following hours, Phelps’ status update spread virally across the social networking site, with many Facebook users mocking the boy with photoshopped images for making boastful claims like having “extensive military training” background and “an arsenal of weapons” at his disposal, while unaware of the fact that it was a copied message. By February 14th, Phelps’ viral status update had been identified as an adapted version of the Navy Seal copypasta. That same day, the Mexican news sites SDP Noticias^[10] and Sipse^[9] reported on the phenomenon.

Notable Variations

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? I’ll have you know I graduated top of Japan and I’m responsible for heart attacks of criminals world wide, and I have 124,925 confirmed kills. I trained myself to be the best in a battle of wits and I’m the god of this new world. You are nothing to me but just another name. I will wipe you the fuck out in a method that you can’t even comprehend, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again fucker. As we speak I am contacting all my followers and your personal file is being brought to my location right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime and kill you in over 2 million differant ways, and that’s just with my notebook. Not only am I extensively trained in finding out your name, but I have access to the entire arsenal of over 30 thousand world wild followers and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of this continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” statement was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would of held you fucking tounge. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you god damn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nikka.

What the fuck did you just fucking type about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at MIT, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling and I’m the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another virus host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your computer. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world wide web, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking fingers. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit code all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the desu did you just fucking desu about me, you little desu? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I’m the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You’re fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that’s just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little “desu” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you’re desu, you goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking desu, kiddo.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my gear, you little n00b? I’ll have you know I am a lvl 90 Undead Arcane Mage, and I’ve won so many PVP matches, and I have done raids on every 10 man heroic dungeon. I also have a fuckton of macros and I have a GS of 10K. You are nothing to me but just a lvl 12 gnome hunter. I will pwn the fuck out of you with Arcane Missiles the likes of which has never been seen before on Azeroth AND Outland, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over raid? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my guild of mages and shamans across The Eastern Kingdoms and your character is being targeted right now so you better prepare for the ownage, n00b. The Arcane Barrage that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your character. You’re fucking pwn’d, n00b. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my secondary talent tree. Not only am I extensively trained in Arcane magic, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Fire magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable neckbeard off the face of Azeroth, you little faggot. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re getting debuffed, you goddamnn00b. I will shit Dragon’s Breath all over you and you will burn in it. You’re fucking pwn’d, faggot.

are you kidding me you little piece of shit i’ll have you know i graduated top of my politics class and i’ve been involved in privilege checking with over 150 confirmed political demonstrations i’m trained in conflict resolution and i was the most oppressed person in my entire upper middle class high school you are nothing to me but another cultural appropriator i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which have never been seen on this side of the 49th parallel mark my words you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet think again fucker, as we speak i’m checking with my anarcho-communist analyst brigade for your location so you better be prepared to deal with some molotov cocktails and angry feminists flying through your window yOU’RE FUCKINGDEADCHERRY! i can be anywhere at any time and i can kill you in over seven hundred ways and that’s just with me boring you to death while i talk about privilege not only am i extensively trained in hotline management but i have access to an entire arsenal of sociological articles to prove my point and i will use them to wipe your fucking face off the earth you little shit if only you had known what oppressed retribution your cultural appropriation would unleash then maybe you would have held your fucking tongue but you couldn’t you’re fucking dead kiddo

I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you