About
Shit Was So Cash is an infamous copypasta from the latter half of 2007. Originating from a post on /b/, the copypasta is a sexually explicit rant in which the poster berates the community on which the copypasta is posted while portraying oneself as an alpha male; in a similar manner to the Navy Seal Copypasta. Shit Was So Cash to date remains one of the most famous copypastas on the internet and maintained steady usage almost a decade after it first came out.
Origin
The original post was made between mid to late 2007 on 4chan’s /b/ board. The original post (shown below) featured the copypasta along with an image of a young man holding a bottle of vodka with his arm around what appeared to be his girlfriend, as supported by the text.
“Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch"
Notable Variations
4chan users found the rant amusing and began spamming the post all over the site. Over time there spawned several variations of the copypasta.
Hey un-insured faggots,
My name is Geico Gecko, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day getting stupid assed insurance from other companies with limited coverage. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any real car insurance? I mean, I guess it’s fun hitting other cars and driving away, because of your own lack of driving ability, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of the animated chick from eSurance.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your Ford Explorer. I’m pretty much covered. I was captain of the sales team, and starter on Geico Nascar’s racing team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn eSurance people”? I also get no speeding tickets, and have a banging hot Ferrari (I just blew by you; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Hello Chaps,
My name is Winston Holmes the 4th, and I dislike all of you little devils. One could say all you are porky, stupid, 3rd class citizens who spend every moment of their dreadful day looking at silly old pictures. You are all that is horrid in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever escorted a beautiful lady? One means, one guesses it is jolly good fun insulting other people because of your own insecurities, but you devils take to a whole new level. This is even worse than meeting Madam Palm and her five beautiful daughters to pictures on Facebook.
It wouldn’t be fair for me to chastise you without giving you the chance to return the favour, pip. Go ahead blighters. One is pretty much perfect. One was captain of the football team (proper football, none of that Yankee tripe), and starter on one’s cricket team. What sports do you play? One also gets straight A’s at Eton, and has a spliffingly beautiful lady friend (She just made me tea; crumpets were gosh darn spliffing). You little blighters should sort one’s life out. Cheerio old boy, cheers for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my smashing lady
Hey Homos,
My name is Chris, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are slow-in-the-mind, naive, niggos who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass youtube videos. You are everything bad in the Cwcville. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any hanky-panky? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of autistic virgins with rage because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of Mary Lee Walsh.
Don’t be a jerkop. Just hit me with your best zapbolt. I’m pretty much perfect. I was the creator of the all original Electric Hedgehog Pokemon Sonichu, and waterboy on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “KICKTHEAUTISTIC”? I also get DIRTYCRAPPEDBRIEFS, and have a banging hot gal pal (She just blew me; Shit was ZAPPED to the extreme). You are all dang dirty trolls who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my sweetheart built from the ground up.
Hey Faggots,
My name is Aang and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day drawing bad fanart and shipping the most illogical pairings of characters from my show. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever HAD a real relationship of your own? I mean, I guess it’s fun writing about weird fucked up sexual encounters between fictional characters that you can fap to because you can’t get any yourself, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on Avatarspirit.net
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I mean, I’M THEFUCKINGAVATARGODDAMMIT. How many elements can YOU bend? I also learned all this shit in LESSTHAN A YEAR, AND I have a blind, banging hot Earthbender for a girlfriend (She just raeped me; Shit was SO Cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my butch.
Hey poultry,
My name is Bald Eagle, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are skinny, small, and overpopulated fowl who spend every second of their day squawking and eating bread crumbs. You are everything bad in the sky. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any federally protected status? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of bantams because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than eating bird seed thrown from an elderly woman’s hand.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I’m the national bird of the most powerful country in the world and sacred to the native people. What people worship you, other than virgin birdwatchers? I also get a 30 year lifespan and have a mate for life (She just hatched my eggs; Shit was SO CAWWW!!). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
What, are you dense? are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am?
I’m the goddamn Batman, and I hate every single one of you. All of you cowardly, superstitious criminals who spend every second of their day robbing banks and blowing shit up. You are everything bad in the Gotham City. Honestly, have any of you ever managed to escape Arkham? I mean, I guess it’s justified for me to go out at night wearing a bat suit, beating lowlifes like you into a pulp because of the crimes you committed, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than every Robin I’ve ever kept.
Don’t be a coward. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I am vengeance, I am the night, I am also the heir of Wayne Enterprises and a member of the Justice League. What sports do you play, other than “Terrorize the peaceful citizens of Gotham and being arrested by me”? I am also one of the richest men in the world, and have banging hot bitches whenever I need (We just had a bat-orgy, shit was SO BAT). You are all scums who should just turn yourselves in. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my justice bitches.
Identity
The man in the image was turned out to be a man named Paulie Carbone, who was killed in a car accident on October 7th, 2007.[1] A number of memorial videos were posted on YouTube to his memory, which have since been deleted.[2] These videos eventually ended up being trolled by 4chan users, by posting comments which were not well received by Carbone’s mother.[2]
every thing you write will be deleted if you want to say something come say it to my face pauls father would like to meet you oh also his uncle and friends and etc so keep it up come on fucking scumbag with the big mouth come say it to us so i can have you head protruding from your anus oh wait is already is with all the shit you say dirtbag i will be waiting that goes for all writing nasty comments come say it to me his mother who lost her only child also have your parents come meet me[2]
YOURELLYNEED TO STOPPNOW.. YOURALLJUSTJEALOUSCOZ HE WASLOVED BY ALOT OF PEOPLE ND YOUR A WORTHLESS PiECE OF SHiT ND TRUST ME YOUDNTWANT US TO FiND YOUCOZTRUST ME YOULLHAVE TO BE HOSPiTALiZED.. GET A LiFE SCUMBAGS =][2]
Search Interest
External References
[1]Gonetosoon.org – Paulie Carbone